Fifty:Fifty
by Symphonia01
Summary: This is my Gelphie spin on the Wicked musical. Expect some book references and 100% more gay. "Fifty-Fifty" was supposed to be a reference to, among other things, the chances of being born male or female. Enter: Fiyera Tiggular. Not remotely a crack fic.
1. Prologue: No One Mourns the Wicked

**Fifty-Fifty**

_"I thought you said that you could read people like a book."_

_"I can." Said Fiyera defensively. She then paused, glancing upwards. "Well. I don't really read books very much, though."_

_"Shocking."_

* * *

><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

_Good news._

Glinda was soaring, gliding, then drifting, high above Oz. Alone in her bubble. Nobody but the clouds and the endless sky to see her. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

_Oh wait, a sparrow. Perhaps not quite._

_She's dead._

But still, Glinda wasn't someone who could hope to remain unseen; not today, yesterday, and likely not tomorrow. It just wouldn't do, to waft so. She had an entrance to make and an appearance to keep up. So, she steadies her pace. Pulls her bubble into a flawless sphere. Holds herself with perfect poise. And she descends, gently, elegantly, immaculately.

_The Wicked Witch of the West is dead._

So, there were the people. The citizens of Oz. The ones she danced her dance for. See how they rejoice? How they sing? The frolic, the banter, the glee - oh the glee! And - admiration, is it? Ah. They have noticed her, is all. Glinda, that is. Their Glinda the Good.

Oh, and how fervently she is welcomed! Backs lean and necks crane – just to see her all the better. The syllables of her name are etched across their lips. All semblance of propriety is forgotten as some point up at her outright. Well, never mind. They've been waiting to see her, after all. So eager they all are, to hear what she has to say. Desperate even.

_Disgusting._

Glinda's lips curve into an angelic smile and she directs a few refined waves in their direction.

_Well, then. It's time to tell them. _

_Time for the good news._

_But I think I will stay here, while I do. Just here in my bubble. Not down there, where no one mourns the wicked. Not with the sparrows, who are so indifferent to mourning. _

_No. Just here is fine. _

_I'm Glinda in her bubble._

_And in here; I'll mourn whomever I damn well please._


	2. Chapter 1: Dear Old Shiz

"_**And of course, from the moment she was born she was... well... different!"**_

Elphaba gazed around at the sights before her with only mild curiosity as she took her first footsteps past the gates of Shiz University. She had expected to feel a little – well – a little _more_ at this moment. Although, she was not one to indulge in _more_ very often_, _so she was somewhat ill-equipped to define what her _more_ should be. Trepidation, perhaps? She supposed it was what would be expected, when one leaves their family home to embark out on their own for the first time. But then again, she didn't feel as if she was doing anything near so grand as "embarking", and whatever she was doing, it certainly wasn't on her own. She glanced towards her sister Nessarose, who was being wheeled ahead by their father, Frex. Elphaba could hear him mumbling words of encouragement in an agitated sort of manner, as he had been doing for a good portion of their journey thus far. She curbed the urge to make a scoffing sound out loud, but only because she didn't particularly want to attract attention to herself. She looked away from them and focused on her environment again. Shiz campus. The buildings, she supposed, were quite impressive. Solid stone and finicky architecture, with just the right amount of ivy to pad out the walls. They effortlessly gave off that "place of learning" air, to be sure.

The students though, she thought as she eyed many of them ambling past, softened the place around the edges somewhat. When so many humans were gathered together, you couldn't help but notice how very fleshy, twitchy and infuriatingly noisy they all were. Elphaba was quite familiar with her own case of sticking out like a sore Tiger claw, but she had always been under the impression that any old human, even as normal looking as could be, didn't look quite right in the world either. Perhaps not a sore Tiger claw as she was, but an ingrown hair at the very least. Frankly, they ruined the scenery. She thought Shiz might have been quite beautiful when empty.

The gap between herself and her father and sibling was beginning to widen as she dawdled and her father strode quickly, fuelled by his agitation, but she didn't attempt to catch up. She was beginning to draw a lot of attention, as to be expected in such a bustling place, and her father would only get annoyed with her if he noticed. She could hear the whispers building behind her. A flurry of questions hissed under breath that she had heard so many times before it was almost laughable. Really, people were just so utterly predictable. Imagine for a moment, that upon first meeting, someone were to simply approach her and gasp, "My dear girl, that is a most _ridiculous_ hat that you are wearing," or some other such pleasantry. To simply comment on her attire, and nothing else. Wouldn't that be fantastically novel? She'd be perfectly floored by the thrill of it all. She ignored the stares, and some outright gawping, by fashioning a superbly ridiculous hat in her head, and vowed that if she ever found one like it she would purchase it at once.

A girl, suddenly in front of her, looked ready to faint dead away, and Elphaba side-stepped her with a frown at having her thoughts interrupted, shifting the heavy trunk she was carrying to her other hand as she did so. If she was to eventually tire of the same comments on her hat, perhaps she could then invest in a ridiculous collar of some kind? This one might be a little more difficult, however, as she had seen a ridiculous collar or two in her time, and it had turned out to be some kind of horrendous upper-class Gillikinese fashion. Ah, but how about _boots!_ Oh, for some lovely ridiculous boots!

She suddenly had to stop her own rather disappointingly plain boots short, to avoid running into a young man who was about to cross her path, only he stopped too, with a visible flinch. He was a small scrap of a boy, clearly a Munchkinlander, and looked as though he had been struck dumb by the sight of Elphaba. Unless that was just how his face always was. One couldn't always tell. She waved him across tersely and he darted out of sight. _Oh bother, I don't think I packed my "It's not contagious" name plaque._

They were close to the main building now, she could see the huge entrance with its doors flung wide open in what ought to have been a welcoming manner. It was gloomy within, but evidently full to the brim with Shiz students. Elphaba reluctantly hurried forward though the doorway so as not to lose her father in the crowd, briefly taking in the far off ceiling, candle brackets and ugly statues, before catching up just as they entered the room beyond where everyone seemed to be congregating. Her hand came out to hover over Nessarose's chair instinctively as she reached her side, causing her father to shoot her a dirty look that she chose not to notice. She opened her mouth, intending to tell her father that he did not need to waste his time here any longer, but the words never came. The double set of doors at the other side of the room had been dramatically flung open and in wheeled an impressive pile of trunks and suitcases, being pushed by an out-of-breath Munchkinlander. Sat atop the great pile was a girl; legs crossed and chest thrust forward, resembling a perfectly carved figurehead at the front of a ship. A blonde, beautiful figurehead, impeccably dressed from head to toe. As she glided into the room the crowds parted for her even quicker than they did at the sight of Elphaba, which was no small feat.

_Why on earth is she sitting up there like that? I hope she's paying that poor sod that's pushing her._

As if sensing Elphaba's negative thoughts in a sea of otherwise unmistakeable awe, the blonde girl suddenly locked eyes with her from across the room. Her eyes were as beautiful as the rest of her. Elphaba watched with detached fascination as the girl's perfectly painted smile slid off her face and her jaw slackened into a gawp. Almost as one the room followed the blonde girl's stare, until all eyes were on Elphaba instead. The silence that followed was deafening.

_Well, how was that for an entrance, Blondie?_

Elphaba took a slow step forward, and watched as the crowd seemed to lean away from her like opposites of a magnet. The blonde girl scooted back a little on her throne. _Well, no time like the present._

"What? What are you looking at?" She raised her eyebrows mockingly. "Oh, do I have something in my teeth?" She barred them at a girl to her left, who shrieked and hid behind the nearest male. Elphaba snorted and quickly strode into the space left before her, thanks to the joint efforts of the blonde and herself. "Okay, let's get this over with. No, I'm not seasick, yes, I've always been green, no, I didn't chew grass as a child. If anyone happens to come up with anything original I would be delighted to hear your submissions, please forward them to-"

"Elphaba!" Her father roared, drowning out her next sarcastic quip and ruining the momentum she had going. _Typical._

"Oh my, I am so rude. Allow me to introduce you all to my dear sister, Nessarose." She made a gesture with her hand in Nessarose's direction. "As you can see, she's a perfectly normal colour."

"Elphaba, stop making a spectacle of yourself!" Frex demanded furiously, dragging her away from the onlookers. Elphaba caught the blonde nodding in apparent agreement out of the corner of her eye. "I did not send you to this school in order to embarrass our family further! You will make yourself as innocuous as possible and do what you are supposed to do-"

"Which is to look after Nessarose. I know, Father."

"And don't you forget it." He snapped.

_How could I ever?_

Frex dismissed Elphaba with a turn of his back, kneeling down beside Nessarose instead. He raised a polished wooden box that he had been carrying with him during the journey. "My precious little girl; a parting gift." Nessarose looked for a moment as though she might protest, before he opened the box with a flourish, revealing a sparkling pair of gaudy, silver high heels.

Nessarose gasped in delight. "Oh Father! Jewelled shoes! They're magnificent."

"I used to have a pair just like that in red, but the style is perhaps a tad out of fashion these days." Elphaba heard the blonde stage-whisper to the onlookers. She'd finally gotten off her pile of suitcases.

"As befits the future governor of Munchkinland." Frex replied grandly, presumably having missed the comment. He stood and kissed Nessarose on the cheek, and she responded with a parting hug. "Be well, my sweet." He turned to Elphaba last. "Elphaba, take care of your sister." He thrust the shoe box into her waiting arms. "And try not to talk so much, for goodness sake." With that he strode out of the room without looking back.

_It's good of him to never play favourites._

Nessarose was looking at her awkwardly, fiddling with her new shoes. "Um, Elphaba…"

"Well, what could he have gotten me? I clash with everything." Elphaba said blithely. She didn't at all want to get into it. She handed over the box for Nessarose to put her new shoes away, ignoring the comforting squeeze of her arm that Nessarose gave her as she did so. She was saved from having to discuss anything further by yet another grand entrance. Through the door where her father had just made his exit came a fish-faced Gillikinese woman, tall and imposing, wearing an elegant maroon wrap-around gown.

"Welcome, new students!" Her voice was laced with authority and called upon everyone's attention as she took her place in the middle of the room. "I am Madame Morrible, headmistress here at Shiz University. And whether you're here to study logic, literature, or linguification, I know I speak for my fellow faculty members when I say we have nothing but the highest hopes for some of you." She eyed a few students distastefully, until her gaze rested on Nessarose. "You! You must be Miss Nessarose, the Governor's daughter." She walked briskly towards Nessarose, a glint in her watery eyes. "What a tragically beautiful face you have!" She cooed, peering down at her. Elphaba gave an annoyed cough, making Madame Morrible look up at her, only to shrink back in surprise. "Oh! …And you must be…"

"I'm the other daughter. Elphaba." Madame Morrible seemed lost for words. "I'm beautifully tragic." Elphaba added helpfully.

Madame Morrible merely blinked at her. "Ah. Yes, well. I'm sure you're very… bright."

"Bright? She's phosphorescent!" The blonde giggled, invoking laughter from every student around her.

_Brilliant._

"Now, regarding room assignments…" Madame Morrible cut through the laughter. The blonde immediately thrust herself in front of Madame Morrible with her hand raised and flapping unnecessarily. "Yes, is this regarding room assignments?" Madame Morrible asked a little impatiently.

"Oh, Madame, thank you for asking, but I've already been assigned a private suite..." The blonde was drowned out by a chorus of disappointed noises from her peers. "But! You can all visit me when_ever_ you want."She smiled around graciously.

"How good of you!" One high-pitched voice trilled.

"You are so good!" Her friend agreed.

"No I'm not!" The blonde denied bashfully.

"Yes, you are!"

"Now stop!" She giggled, dashing her curls about her shoulders.

_I really hope they paid their way into this school._

"Did you have a question?" Madame Morrible asked before the whole room began to insist how very good she was.

"Yes." Said the blonde, suddenly serious. "You see, I am Galinda Upland, of the Upper Uplands…" She made a gesture above her head to make it clear that her Uplands were very Up indeed. "I've applied to your sorcery seminar, and indeed that is my sole purpose of attending Shiz; to study sorcery with you." Possibly noticing the complete lack of recognition on Madame Morrible's face, she continued more persistently. "Perhaps you recall my entrance essay, "Magic Wands: Need They Have a Point". She said the title of her essay with relish, spreading her arm out in front of her as if putting the essay on display for the room to see. There came an obedient spattering of thoughtful noises from her peers.

Madame Morrible however, seemed unimpressed. "Yes... However, I do not teach my seminar every semester, unless, of course, somebody special were to come along."

"Well, exactly!" Galinda beamed.

Elphaba, not known for her patience, thought that Lurline herself shouldn't be expected to have to listen to any more than this. "Madame Morrible, we have not yet received our room assignments." She said, gripping the handles of Nessarose's chair.

Madame Morrible looked happy for the interruption. "Ah yes, the governor made his concern for your sister's wellbeing quite clear. So, I thought it would be best if she share my private compartment where I can assist her as needed."

_What? _"But Madame, I've always looked after my sister-"

"As for you, I don't seem to have you on my list. Oh, well a slight gulch, but not to fret! We'll find some place to put you I'm sure." Behind Madame Morrible, Galinda and her yea-sayers from earlier seemed to be having an indignant assembly of some sort.

"Now, which one of you young ladies would like to volunteer to share with Miss Elphaba?"

Galinda suddenly whirled around and stomped forward with her hand raised insistently and a determined look on her face. "Madame Morrible!"

Madame Morrible grabbed Galinda's hand out of the air and gave it a quick pat. "Thank you, dear. Oh how very good of you!"

"Yes. Wait. Pardon?"

"There Miss Elphaba, you may share with Miss Galinda." Madame Morrible said with dreadful finality in her voice.

"Pardon?" Galinda squeaked.

_You have got to be kidding me._ "Madame, you don't understand."

"Elphaba, I'll be fine." Nessarose interjected, sounding tired.

"Everyone, to your dormitories." Madame Morrible clapped her hands resolutely, and then took the handles of Nessarose's chair to wheel her away.

"Madame! I promised, my father!" Elphaba cried, frustrated at being ignored, always being ignored. They may stare at the colour of her skin, but nobody ever heard her. Madame Morrible was wheeling Nessarose away like Elphaba hadn't said a thing. She felt a bubbling fury build up deep inside her, and then- "_Let her go!_"

Nessarose's chair was suddenly torn out of Madame Morrible's hands and spun itself round at high speed. Madame Morrible gasped in surprise and many students began to shriek as the chair flew backwards by itself, cutting a path between the panicking students until it came to a stop before Elphaba. _Oh crap._

"How did you do that?" Madame Morrible demanded, her hand at her chest.

"How did she do that?" Galina echoed, sounding flabbergasted.

"Elphaba! You promised things would be different here!" Nessarose snapped, already wheeling away from her.

"You mean this has happened before?" Madame Morrible queried, her attention now completely on Elphaba.

_Fantastic. I've been here how many minutes?_ "Uh… Something just comes over me sometimes… I can't really describe it. I'll try to control myself better. I'm sorry, Madame."

"What? Never apologize for talent! Talent is a gift! And that is my special talent; encouraging talent!" Madame Morrible strode over to her, beaming. "Have you ever considered a career in sorcery, my dear?"

"Sorcery?" _Is that what it is?_

"I shall tutor you myself, and take no other students." She gave Elphaba a motherly smile.

"What?" Galinda gasped indignantly.

As if just remembering that the rest of the students were still there, Madame Morrible clapped her hands once again. "Come now, to your dormitories! I won't say it again." She patted Nessarose on the shoulder. "I'll be with you in a minute, dear." Nessarose looked annoyed, but turned away to follow behind the muttering crowd.

"Oh, Miss Elphaba." Madame Morrible clasped one of her hands in her own. They were slightly clammy. "You have no idea how long I have waited for a gift like yours to come along in this university. By the time I'm through teaching you, why, the wizard himself will want to make you his Magic Grand Vizier!"

_Is she high?_ "The Wizard? As in, _the_ Wizard? Of Oz?"

"The very same! I'll write to him at once and tell him of you in advance." She shot Elphaba another sickly smile. Up close she looked fishier than ever. "With a talent like yours my dear, and a little hard work, you can make some real good in our Oz."

_She's actually serious. Really truly. _

"Madame!" Piped up a demanding little voice. Galinda apparently still hadn't left or given up.

"Not now, dearest." Madame Morrible said dismissively, not even glancing Galinda's way. She gave Elphaba's hand a last squeeze before leaving the room with purposeful strides.

Elphaba watched the emotions play across Galinda's face as she stared at Madame Morrible's retreating back. "Something is wrong…" Galinda said faintly. "I… I didn't get my way. I don't… I think I need to lie down." Galinda trailed out of the room looking like a ghost, and Elphaba suddenly found herself alone.

_That… actually just happened, didn't it?_

Elphaba had had this "talent" of hers since she was a toddler, according to the complaints of her father. And for as long as she could remember she had been told that it was unnatural and wrong. Her father had detested it. He saw it only as further evidence of how strange and abnormal she was. Elphaba had never thought of it as sorcery or magic. But it made sense. It did. She was just like the Wizard. And maybe one day she would be able to control her gift and use her powers for good, just like he did. They could be a team. Who would care that she was green, when she was the Wizard's right hand man?

_And, if they did still care… Well. Maybe the Wizard could get rid of the green. Maybe he could fix me. So long as he thinks I'm worth it. I can be worth it. I'll work my arse off._

Elphaba couldn't help the smile that was on her lips. She was happy. Truly happy. She finally had something worth working for. She finally had a purpose.

"Me and the Wizard, huh?" She grinned. _Who would have ever thought? I guess coming to this university wasn't such a terrible idea after all._


End file.
